Silverfish. Doesn’t that sound like a lovely thing? A fish, that’s silver. Sweet and magical.

I just found one in Charlie’s bedroom. An other worldly, long, unnaturally flat, fast-scuttling creature with some kind of pointy thing at the end. I got it with the mop I was using to kill the mosquitos that are currently infesting our house.

Charlie was sleeping, his little belly exposed and I was scanning the walls for mosquitos with my phone torch. I looked under his bed, a favourite hiding place. I had already killed several of them under there using a plastic fireman’s crowbar with an elephant finger puppet stuck on the end, a little proud of my inventiveness. But during this midnight hunt, I saw this silver streak running across the wooden floor. Yes, I saw you. Yes, I’m bigger than you. Yes, you will feel no mercy from my mop.

Then I googled it. Now I’m terrified.

Going to bed now, itchy, and reluctant to head into my dreams without my mop.